Note to Future Self

Next time you get pregnant, DO NOT, under any circumstances, stuff your face with Checkers through all 3 trimesters and then for 3 months postpartem. It does not end well. The placenta? It does not weight 80 lbs. Because now, self, you have to lose all that Checkers weight.

So there's the gym. Where now I have to work so very, very hard and sweat so very, very much to lose the weight. And going to a spinning class when you are fat and out of shape? I'm not going to lie. . .it hurts. I just went up to get something from the printer and nearly fell over.

Eating healthfully really isn't so bad, but going from a diet of carb laden wonderfulness of bagel sandwiches and frosted cookies and shoving whatever appears in front of me into my pie hole to salads and whole grains and no added sugars. . .well, it's an adjustment. And then there are portions. Going from a non-portion life to a life with portions and then asking my poor husband who just finished cooking dinner "how many teaspoons of oil did you use?" and instead of chucking it at my head, my husband will just sigh, make up a number and hope that I don't go crazy.

Here's to hoping Future Self is much smarter than Present Self.