My Cat, the Tuna Tam-o-Shanter

O Hai! I can has blog post?

Let me introduce to to you our very own Kvetch is the New Blog lolcat.

That's Twinkie. When he is snoozing. On a chair. DURING DAYLIGHT HOURS. PLOTTING MY DOOM.

What does he do at night? Oh, the usual. You know, become a 15-pound, tuna-scented tam-o-shanter. Yes. This involves first stomping around in circles on Queen Dweeb's cheek. Then purring loudly whilst doing the high step. On HER HEAD. Then chattering away with said TOOONA BREATH. Preferrably about one centimeter from her olfactory glands.

Have you had the pleasure of HOT TOOONA BREATH at 2 AM? Let me tell you. Is a pleasure.

After the chirping, circling and high stepping is complete, the settling in occurs. A nice, hot 15 pound dead weight, reeking of the fetid sea, wrapped comfortably around one's skull.

This too can be yours each night.

Oh, and don't dare suggest that he get locked out of the room. He RIPS THE CARPET completely up, crying piteously the entire time. When that is a FAIL, he shakes the door with his mighty LARD.

Needless to say, sleep is at a premium here.

Can someone find me a chipmunk to toss to him please?