I truly hate all jewelers who advertise on the radio and television. I mean, I ABHOR them. And their goddamned theme songs. Every single one of them - except for Mervis. I kind of like Mervis because they come on and pretend like they didn't grow up exploiting the natives. I bet they hobbled many a slave as a small child. Ah, hobbling. Good times -they are the only place that I would ever buy jewelery from, if such a need ever arose. They are trying really hard to prove that they don't have blood diamonds - a little too hard, if you ask me. I digress. . .
Anyway, I have officially found it; I saw a commercial for this and it has been burned into my brain:
Stupidest gift ever on the Kay Jewlelers website
This embodies everything that I hate about Valentine's Day and civilization in general.
- The ring itself in HEINOUS. Truly, truly, ridiculously ugly. I die a little inside each time I see it. The I Love You is the kicker - it's truly awful.
- You get stuffed animals with it - FREE, no less. First, stuffed animals are possibly the worst invention of all time. They are useless and just clutter shit up. Second, of course it's free because it's a claw machine reject. It's for you people who put the stuffed animals on the back ledge of your car - you know who you are and you will be destroyed in time.
PS: If you bought this for your new wife or girlfriend or whatever, I'm sorry if I have offended you. I'm also sorry that you may have questionable taste. But unconditional love is unconditional for a reason.
2 comments:
Dear god. It looks like the top of a cell phone tower!
I have gotten gifts from such jewlers as Kays and unless you are spending a significant amount of money on a non-diamond, you get these little diamond chips. I got a bracelet once that had diamonds (or so they say) and it was just over $100 and it looked like it had come out of a claw machine.
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