In which my tranquility is disturbed. . .

As some of you may know, I just bought a condo. A beautiful condo (at Project price) in which I live ALONE. Sans the brother. Sans any roommates. Just me in my beautiful palace of aloneness. You may see a regular apartment with rooms and such, but to me it's a magical place where there are unicorns and sprites frolicking in my utopia of wonderfulness. Where I sit on my own (beautiful)couch and watch whatever I want on television; and I can be as slothful as I want without being ashamed (and I am so very slothful). I can ignore anyone who knocks on my door (because I'm a hermit and kind of a bitch) because I know it's not from anything I (meaning the brother) has done wrong. Like let the dog loose and have his anal glands explode all over the neighbors lawn. Or run into a neighbors house while they have the door open and pee on the couch (this was the dog). Or leave boxer shorts in spaghetti sauce on the living room floor (this was the brother). This is why living by myself is beautiful and wonderful.

But the peace is disturbed every morning at approximately 4 am by the FUCKING BASTARD WHOSE CAR ALARM GOES OFF. Every. Time. A. Train. Goes. By. Oh, and in case I didn't mention, there is a train track directly behind the building. So the car alarm goes off for approximately thirty quadrillion hours. Then it stops. And I am relieved and try to go back to sleep. Then it starts again. And again. So I look out the window last night to see if I can see which car it is. It is a stupid muscle car that is black and a Mustang or some other such type of car. And it is EVIL and belongs to SATAN. It is Satan's car, that he drives to pick up evil people and drop them into hell.

So if this is the only fly in the ointment of my bliss, then it's not so bad. I mean, I have unicorns and sprites, that should make up for the evil of the car alarm, right? Well, fuck that. Baseball bat meets car. If I had a baseball bat. It's my birthday coming up soon - a baseball bat would be appreciated. More appreciated would be the death of satan's car.