American Consumerism. And Babies.

We have a little, oddly-shaped closet in our basement. It's in the storage area, and is probably about four by eight feet. When we bought the house, we thought that maybe someday we could make it into a little darkroom. It's just about the right size, and we have plenty of storage space.

Fast forward about two months. The dreams of the darkroom have died. It is now a storage room, and is almost full. Everything in the room is baby-related.

Now before any of you start jumping to conclusions (I know you all have the "Jumping to Conclusions" mat), we are NOT having a baby. Not now, at any rate, and probably not for about three years or so. However, my lovely wife is the youngest of four kids, who have five children among them. And they kept all their baby crap for us. Actually, I am not complaining about this. It is great, because we are going to have practically everything we need for a baby. For a baby shower, we can just ask for a truckload of diapers. It will be great.

However, all of this baby crap has enlightened me to the money-making machine that is a baby. Sharon went to a baby shower a couple of weeks ago, and was describing to me some of the gifts the mom-to-be received. Each gift was more ridiculous than the next. The culmination of the list almost made me drive the car off the road. The mom received a towel for the baby. But the towel has a HOOD. Why on earth would anyone need a towel with a HOOD??? What's wrong with using a normal size towel and swaddling the baby? It's not like you are bathing the child in a nearby stream where it's 14 degrees and are afraid about the loss of body heat. Parents bathe their children inside, where unless you are like my parents, the house is at least 70 degrees.

The mom-to-be had registered for this item. Apparently she had asked for one, because she obviously didn't know any better. Her shower attendees quickly corrected her: one is certainly not enough. She needs four or FIVE hooded towels!

Seriously, even the cleanest of us don't wash our towels every day. For a baby, are you going to be any different? Why do you need a hooded towel at all, let alone FIVE? This was compounded later than evening when we were visiting a friend of Sharon's, who has a two-year-old daughter. She had two whole drawers full of sippy cups. Apparently, Mom preferred one type of sippy cup, where the day-care center required another type. So after she had bought 10 sippy cups, she had to buy ten more in another style.

What the hell is wrong with this country? Why do we need hooded towels, or multiple types of sippy cups? And why do we buy into this crap? The second couple we visited thought the hooded towels are great. Otherwise normal, sane people start to sing the praises of boutique towels and other such bank-account leeches. Apparently there is no stronger kool-aid than what they serve in the maternity ward.