Flying Sucks- But We're All in it Together

There once was a time when flying was fun. It was a new experience and you got somewhere fast without too much hassle. People even used to dress up to fly, though that was more our parents' generation than ours.

No longer. The whole experience is one giant pain in the ass. You do get to go somewhere faster than you can drive, but the experience is nothing less than miserable. The security procedures are frustrating, the airlines overbook flights (see today's Opinion section in The Washington Post for a great example), and of course you can't even bring a bottle of water on the flights any more.

You would hope that all of us passengers (aka "the herd") would bond together under the shared misery and add some semblance of dignity and mutual respect to the process. Couldn't we help each other stow our luggage? Couldn't we realize that we're all miserable and try to help each other out?

Sadly, the answer is a resounding NO. On a recent flight to Las Vegas, we got to see a perfect example of this. One of the few things that does seem ordered about flying is the manner in which people get off the plane. Each row, starting from the front, gets up, collects their belongings, and exits the plane in an orderly manner. Of course, we all wish that this process were faster, but in the end we would save a minute or two at most. However, on this flight, three of us were sitting in a row toward the back of the plane. I was on the aisle, and waited until the rows in front of me had exited, as well as the row across from me. I then tried to step into the aisle to get my wife's laptop out of the overhead bin. However, I was impeded by a stampeding 5 foot 4 inch devil in Crocs, and a, probably unrelated, man who simply HAD to get off the plane that instant. No matter that they watched the entire group deplane in order, but they had to run me over to save one minute of their lives.

So I said, quite loudly to the quickly recending back of the man "EXCUSE ME! You've done this before, right?" Of course, he didn't even look back, confirming the fact that he knew he was doing something wrong but wasn't willing to acknowledge it. I then followed him off the plane and waited for my companions outside the gate. As we walked down the concourse, the jackass was just sitting at the edge of hallway (at least he wasn't in the middle, which is the preferred place for most travellers to stop), and as we walked by he muttered something to the effect of "asshole" in my general direction.

So now he has accrued a second significant negative mark against him. He wasn't even willing to confront me, as I did him when I called him on his bullshit. To me, this shows that he was embarassed by his actions and knew what he was doing. Otherwise he would have defended himself. You see? Flying de-civilizes us. It turns us into a raving mass of lunacy and encourages Lord of the Flies-type behavior (thank God there are no pigs around). I don't understand why we don't realize that we're all cooped up together in what amounts to a large metallic tylenol gel-cap, and add some civility to the process. We should all be bonding in our shared misery.

At least nobody on either of our flights reclined their seats. Talk about the ultimate in me-first thinking; this practice needs to stop. Does reclining your seat appreciably increase your comfort? It does not- you're still stuck in a jet-propelled germ factory with no room for your elbows. And does it apprciably decrease the comfort of the people behind you? You fricking bet. Reclining seats should be outlawed. Seriously.

At least when we got off the flight, we were in Vegas! Something positive, at least...