Oh! My Nose!

So, you know the episode of the Brady Bunch where Marcia Brady gets hit in the face with a football, and they keep replaying the scene over and over, with Marcia squeaking "Oh! My NOSE!"?

Well, imagine something similar, only it involved a cat. And he didn't get HURLED at my nose per se, more like my brother scared his lardy ass, and he jumped up with all of the grace of a freight train, directly into my schnozz. Awesome.

Which resulted in the aforementioned, "OH! MY NOSE!"

Also, much laughter. And QueenDweeb retching into her mom's new fancy kitchen sink in pain. While DweebBrother attempted (poorly) to contain his mirth, and mom applied ice packs to said schnozz in the attempt to stop any swelling.

Mind you, all of this transpired whilst watching "Team America: World Police," no less. America, FUCK YEAH, indeed. Perhaps that is what frightened Twinkie, and not the PILLOW (god forbid it get too close, with its squishy comfort and plush insides). Yes, a PILLOW. Cat+Pillow+Face=DOOOOOOOOMMM.

So, ice pack in place, glasses held aloft (for extra classiness), the minor bleeding was staunched, the nose declared "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IT'S NOT BROKEN. YOUR FACE LOOKS FINE. WOULD YOU QUIT LOOKING AT YOURSELF" and DweebBrother's mirth (poorly) contained. Though he did say, about ten times, that he really wished he had captured that on video, to post on youtube. Because nothing says holiday fun like MOCKING YOUR SISTER'S AGONIZING, PAIN AND HUMILIATION.

Five days later, when the glasses still hurt, an appointment is made with the doctor. Who, of course, reminds our faithful heroine of Marcia Brady. And laughs at her plight. And declares her cartilage cracked. So, no tackle football for QueenDweeb. AND, YES, MY CAT BROKE MY FACE.