Keeping it real: Breakupgate 2008

So it's been some time since I've kvetched at you. There have been good reasons. The wholesale collapse of one's industry, for example. But I digress.

We all know that Queen Dweeb has an awesome track record for breakups. Excellent reasons for getting dumped include:

1. You're not poor (no, really)
2. I don't want to have sex with you (no, really, in HIGH SCHOOL)
3. You're not pretty enough (oh, yes he did)
4. I lost my job, I am going to sleep all day and freeze you slowly out of my life (oh, the hell you are)
5. This open relationship isn't working, and let me make your life a living hell because of it (feel free to ask)

Let me add to the mix, "I'm getting back together with an old flame, but no, wait, let me NOT TELL YOU ABOUT IT FOR ALMOST A WEEK." Because, you know, nothing adds insult to injury like being the last one to know, huh? I mean, really, this was a summer fling, not a serious relationship. I didn't CARE about it. I did CARE about the fact that I didn't know, and had blathered on for, oh, 15 minutes without knowing, and had sent, oh, 5 days worth of emails without knowing, and oh, had spent, HOURS figuring out plans for the weekend. But it's cool, cause, you know, you're just not into confrontation or whatever.

The best part? When the boy in question was called out on his pussitude for not admitting to this sooner? His reply was that NOT EVERYONE HAS BALLS OF STEEL LIKE QUEEN DWEEB.

So here's to you, dorky boys with no spines, for giving me fodder for my blog!