Thursday, July 17, 2008

The Manila Files, Episode 1: Frogger

I have now been in Manila, Philippines, for four days. So far, I haven't done much. I've gone to work, slept a lot so as to acclimate myself to being 12 hours off from the east coast, and done little else. The only excitement has been my daily 10-minute walk to work. It's a reasonably "safe" walk, along an open promenade in front of Manila Bay. However, to get to the promenade I must cross an eight-lane road with a very poorly functioning traffic light.

Many people claim that video games are a waste of time and lead to a deterioration in brain functioning. Well, thanks to the Atari 2600, I may actually survive this trip to Manila. For crossing Roxas Boulevard resembles nothing so much as a game of Frogger. Instead of slowing down- as if the drivers never relate to such a lowly person who would have to walk across a busy road- the drivers flash their lights and honk their horns, usually while accelerating. We know you're there, assholes, we just need to get to work. Cut us some slack.

Maybe the people of this country are so small because they are impatient to get out of the womb. This impatience is certainly manifested in the way they drive. From what I can tell, there are no observed traffic rules but god-forbid you get in someone else's way. The most vile offenders are usally the "jeepneys", which look like garishly painted and squashed "short" buses. These things stop on a dime whenever a person flags them down, but are their drivers are notably short-tempered when another jeepney dares to stop to pick up its own passengers.




Not to be outdone, drivers that happen to be behind a jeepney will universally lean on their horns and make every effort to move around. You'd think they had never encountered one of these vehicles with the seizure-inducing paint jobs, and that they were completely confounded by the idea that they might, for some reason, stop. So far, I haven't seen any accidents, but I keep hoping. With any luck, my skinny ass won't be personally involved.

1 comment:

OptimisticalCynical said...

We miss you here, Marshall. Not as much as Mrs. Marshall, no doubt, but we do miss you.