OK, now that we're done with the boring history lesson, it's time to talk about the primary reason Americans care about Asia: these countries produce cheap shit for us to buy. Asia is famous for knockoff goods, as U.S. copyright and trademark laws aren't enforced here. As the producer of most of the original goods, we should be offended that our ideas are being ripped off. But in actuality, all we think is: Bonanza! After all, we are the ones who fell in love with Napster.
Yesterday I went to a mall here that specializes in knockoff DVDs, video games, cds, and even electronics. Due to the traffic nightmare that is this hellhole, I didn't have much time to fully explore. But I did leave with 10 new DVDs, all for about 13 bucks. There are apparently some guidelines for the purchase of knockoff DVDs: mainly, don't buy a movie if it hasn't actually been released on DVD yet. Why? Because it was probably made by some moron with a video camera in a theater near you. But if the movie is out on DVD, which is easily copied, then you should be all set. Except sometimes, the movie will be in Chinese, or may have the ending cut off. Caveat emptor. But seriously, when paying a buck, you take your chances.
There's not much anyone can do to those who sell these knockoffs. The women in the store we went to (my coworkers is well known there) said that the FBI had come to their store a few days before. Kind of useless, though, because they don't actually have any jurisdiction here! I'm a little surprised that the DVDs weren't "confiscated", and then repeatedly tested for quality by the families and friends of the agents. After all, there are a lot of DVDs to test.
There are also a couple of guys that accost me on my street every time I head to the mall, trying to sell me stuff. I never really paid attention to them until today, I guess now that my interested in cheap shit has been piqued. These guys seem to sell two things. The first, oddly, are silver dollars. Or what appear to be silver dollars. I'm not sure why they think I would want to buy shiny money with paper money, but they wouldn't do it if there weren't any takers. So there must be something in it for them.
The other thing they sell? Cialis. Little green boxes of ED meds. I've been trying to puzzle out their choice of product to peddle. Did a bunch of little asian guys manage to steal a shipping container of pills and silver dollars? Is there really a big market for ED pills on the streets of this slum? Or, even worse, do I look like I have trouble getting it up? These guys are pretty aggressive- acting as if I secretly needed the Cialis but was ashamed to admit it. Maybe it's for all the 60-year-old white guys dating 20-year-old Filipinas.
Shit, am I finally starting to look old? I'm going to go watch No Country for Old Men, to feel better about myself.
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1 comment:
HAHAHA! Awesome. I love it-it reminds me of being in Vegas, when we're all out on the street together, and all those people are trying to hand you guys the whore cards without us girls noticing. And we're all laughing so hard about it because they're about as subtle as a big red flashing neon sign that says "PROSTITUTES HERE!"
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