A comforting shout-out to the Marshaless...Marshalette? Mrs. Marshall?

I feel your pain. But the hero of this particular short story has done something more clumsy and embarrasing in the foot-injury-area. this is, of course, ignoring the countless times that our current hero has bashed his shins on stuff, and dropped things on his slightly sasquatch-like feet that make it hard to buy real shoes, because of surface area concerns and oddly-shaped clodhoppers...where was I?

Here's the scene. Sometime, in Junior high school, our hero waits in his room. Still short, having not really climbed fully aboard the puberty train, and therefore given to embarrasing voice cracks. However, our hero is starting to grow just enough that he is not fully aware of the length and power of his own limbs. Our hero's mind is convinced that he's at least an inch or so shorter. And, he's waiting for a commercial break to be done, so that he can watch whatever shamefully embarassing cartoon that he would watch at 4 in the afternoon while avoiding homework. alone in his room, our hero hears the commercial break end. "Nooooooo!" Our hero thinks. "I'm missing the show, I had better hurry!" So, our hero takes off running with all the speed and grace that his 12 year old body is capable of mustering. Which is to say, too much of the former and not enough of the latter. So, while running into a room in bare feet to catch a TV show...Our hero manages to hook his little toe on the door frame of the room that he is proceeding into at full speed. Here, the laws of physics and pain take over, the tensile strength of small bones versus forward momentum are tested, and bone loses. Ironically, Our hero misses his show, because he is lying on the floor in pain, unable to concentrate on the TV because his little toe is broken, and he is berating himself for being a complete fucking idiot.

This remains one of my most embarrasing injuries ever. Much worse than telling people that I hurt my back on my honeymoon, and seeing the automatic snicker. So cheer up, Milady Marshall. It could be much, much worse.

ps. The treatment for a broken little toe? Taping it to the toe next to it. That's it. You'd think medical science would have advanced beyond waterproof tape.