Saturday, August 11, 2007

So, what do YOU sleep with?

My afternoon has been spent on the hated, hated task of cleaning. Of course, as I am a lazy housekeeper at best, all I've managed to do is start my laundry & change my sheets. Oh, and put away about 1000 pairs of shoes. Why can't I just learn to put things away like most adults? Apparently I think the shoe fairy will magically arrive & whisk my shoes away to never-never land, also known as my shoe closet.

But I digress. I decided to tackle the delight of changing the sheets on my bed today. I do this weekly (roughly, some times it's a bit longer, but never more than about 10 days between, for lo, I am compulsive about clean sheets). Anyhow, this is a bit of a struggle. My matress is something like 20" thick, which makes putting sheets on the bed exhausting. As I go to tackle the feat of removing the bedding from the bed, I pull from on top & amidst the covers, these items:

1 laptop computer (with tasteful wood paneled top)
1 calculator (ghetto solar variety, no extra functions)
1 Alpha Centauri Planetary Pak CD
1 Civ 4: Beyond the Sword Box & manual (game's in the laptop)
1 Titan Quest CD
5 Harry Potter Books (#2 & #5 are missing)
1 Domo-kun plush toy
1 extra pillow, for leaning on when gaming
7 ponytail holders, 5 barrettes & 2 bobby pins (I have a LOT of hair)
1 retainer case (because I am the hotness)
3 pairs of pants, 1 jacket, 4 shirts & some assorted lingerie
1 wireless mouse
1 fake hairpiece, which resembles a tribble when viewed from a distance

Now really, what DOES this say about me? Um, the first thought: wow, I REALLY must not be getting any action. Second? Jesus, is my house a strip club? Cause really, that much lingerie strewn about is not classy. That's for damn sure.

So, um, yeah. My bed=only good for clothes storage and game-playing. Not for action. For there is apparently not room for anyone, including me, in that bed. Yeah. Here's to you, horomone, because apparently my Depo-Provera induced celibacy is actually created by some weird nesting instinct designed to keep others out of my bed by sheer un-sexiness.

Also, I must really spend a lot of time in bed for an insomniac. This is my 2nd post about my bed.

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